HR’s funny side: Can you top these resumes?
May 23, 2008 by Sam NarisiPosted in: Hiring, In This Week's E-Newsletter, Latest News & Views
When so many resumes come across your desk, it’s nice to see a few that stand out. But these ones stood out for the wrong reasons.
A recent survey by CareerBuilder compiled a list of the oddest things candidates have included in their resumes. Some are so ill-conceived it looks like the candidate was trying hard to avoid getting a job. Others are so non-job-related, it’s hard to tell what the writer was thinking. The highlights:
- A candidate explained an arrest and conviction by saying, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.” (We’re guessing he or she was turned down because the company wanted someone with the ambition to steal a large pig.)
- Another mentioned that her sister had once won a strawberry eating contest.
- One guy said that he “works well nude.”
- A candidate mentioned that he couldn’t work on weekends because that’s “drinkin’ time.” (He probably doesn’t have to worry about having too much to do during the week, either.)
Read the entire list here.
The article doesn’t mention if any of those candidates were offered jobs. But they certainly got someone’s attention. Of course, some of those inclusions scream “Don’t hire me” (mentioning alcohol on a resume, for example), but they don’t all look like automatic deal-breakers.
Have you come across any weird resume items? Better yet, have you actually hired anyone who sent you a less-than-conventional resume? Let us know in the comments section.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:22 am
I once received a resume from a school nurse indicating that she would be the ideal candidate for the position because she was accustomed to working with children. The position listed was a reporter for a highly specialized publishing firm. Our Publisher’s reaction, besides a good laugh, was that we should consider hiring the nurse since we do have a lot of tall children on staff.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I once saw a resume that listed the reason for leaving last position was “Hated Mom”
May 30th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I had one applicant put that she left a postion because “God told her it was time to go”. Not that I see anything wrong with looking for spiritual direction, but it was odd looking at it on an application for employment!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Bodily functions as job functions - let me explain:
I received a resume from a medical lab worker, who listed under job duties, “making urine samples”.
Another resume for a manufacturing supervisor role listed their previous positon as “$hit supervisor” (whoops, the missing “f” changes the role!)
Last but not least, I received a resume from an individual who as HR Assistant, should have known to proof-read her resume - job duties included “screening time-$hits and preparing payroll”.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
While seeking employment I came acrossed this one for an HR Manager. The benefits and incentives took me by suprise…lol
Human Resources Manager
The Human Resources Manager should possess all or most of the following qualifications, experience and personality characteristics:
4 year degree in business or human resources preferred
3-4 years progressive experience in Human Resources administration or generalist capacity including: benefits, payroll, recruiting, risk management, and employee relations
ADP experience a huge plus
Fluent in Microsoft Office Suite
Outstanding written and verbal communication skills
Must be comfortable with negotiation and conflict resolution
Excellent organizational, project, and time management skills
Extremely detail-oriented
Thrives in a fast-paced, dynamic environment
Ability to manage challenging internal relationships
We offer great benefits, competitive compensation, as well as a casual team-oriented work environment (as in jeans). Oh yea, don’t forget the beer!
If you feel that you exceed the above qualifications please send a cover letter, resume, and salary requirements to hr@domaimhidden.com.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I had someone submit, via e mail, a cover letter as their resume. But not just any cover letter, it was a generic cover letter from careerbuilder and this person didn’t fill in any of the blanks. The letter read:
Dear (Mr/Ms Last Name): I am interested in the X position at your company, X… etc.
I kept the letter for a whole day for sheer entertainment purposes.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
One application I received noted “disagreement with employer” on one of the previous employment sections which asked for “reason for leaving employment.” During the interview, I asked about that response. The candidate replied (paraphrasing here), “Well, they wanted me to leave and I didn’t want to.”
May 30th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
We usually conduct group interviews for our call center (temporary) assignments. At the end of one screening sessions, one of the applicants pulled our QA Manager aside and told her that he was the best one for the job because he dressed “grown and sexy” and the girls liked that!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
During an interview, an applicant was asked what she does to relax when she gets stressed out. She responded that when she gets home from work she sometimes likes to go out into the backyard and use a chainsaw to take out her frustration.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
What I find most interesting about the resume’s I receive are the personal email addresses that people use.
These personal email addresses really say a lot about the individual, I mean sex_allnite@xxx.con might have an issue with punctuality, tattoos_evywhere might have a presentation issue, and my personal favorite from a male applicant hot-latin_luvr might prove distracting in the office.
With the ability to creat free email accounts on gmail, hotmail and yahoo, and the fact that providers such as AOL and Comcast allow several email addresses on an account, I would imagine resume writes would select something more professional.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
We reciueved a resume with senders email address : swastika@emailprovider.com.
Being a very diverse company, I couldnt see him being a good fit.
May 31st, 2008 at 10:22 am
I once had an opening for a marketing assistant. One lady sent a resume and had stated as a “special skill” that she has become very good at ignoring insults and derogatory comments. Although she did not really possess the experience we were looking for, I found this “special skill” to be very interesting.
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:30 am
I don’t have a resume story, but I once interviewed a woman (in a very short red dress) who said the reason she left her last position was because she had slept with her boss, and when things didn’t work out…”well, it was just too hard to keep working together”!
June 2nd, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Besides personal email addresses, applicants should be careful what they have as a message on their home answering machine or cell phone voicemail. I once called an applicant to schedule an interview and her message went something like this “This is Marcia, if you are that #$#^# bill collector, don’t bother leaving a *&%) message, I won’t be calling you back’ stated in a loud and angry voice. Seems like she really needed that job…
And my staff all called and listened to the message as well… it was a hoot.
June 18th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Once during an interview, I asked the applicant why she had left her last employer. She replied, “They did me real dirty!”. We didn’t hire her, but we did have a new catch phrase around the office for a while…
July 1st, 2008 at 2:25 am
The post and all of the examples listed in the comments would be a great way to have fun at work with your staff. Take a long break and share these tidbits of gold. Two weeks ago, I interviewed a middle-aged man for a maintenance manager position. He spent the entire interview telling me all about the machinery he has destroyed for various reasons throughout the year. Why would someone do this? It takes all kinds…. http://www.michaellgooch.com
October 3rd, 2008 at 12:42 pm
My favorite interviewee of all time was a middle-aged man who came in to interview for a Customer Service position. During interviews I like to try to get people to get comfortable enough to show their true personality. During the interview I had mintioned that our workforce was very diverse and we appricate diversity. The man said, “You know, I understand the need for everyone to be PC, but I miss the days when you could make fun of broads, ni—–, ch—-, wet—–, ki—, pol—, (the list went on for at least 20 seconds)!” The unfinished words used were all racial or thnic slurs. Yes, he actually used the words! He even came up with some that I had never heard before. Needless to say, he was not hired. The real kicker here is that he lodged a complaint claiming age discrimination!!